(no subject)

• With everything else, I am also human.  


• Humility. 


• It's easier for me to extend unconditional love and acceptance than to believe it may have been extended to me


• It turns out I don't actually understand things the first time, so keep going back.


• Taking blame, assigning blame at all, can be a trap. Let things be.


• Have patience with myself.


• Just keep asking: What is really going on? What is it I can't face? And keep asking, and asking, and asking.


• It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, I'm okay, and I am good enough, even when I really don't feel that way.


• Don't let independence (and pride) shut me off from letting people see the difficult parts of myself.
  


• Accept help.

Hi, universe. Your lesson in vulnerability is going great.

So the TED Talk by Brene Brown still has the ability to kick my ass, every time I listen to it. I may need to listen to this a few more hundred times, until I get to the point where every single line of the damn thing won't trigger a rueful laugh of self-recognition.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0

A summary, for those who prefer to read instead of watch:

What prevents connection with others?
Shame and fear – the idea of “I’m not good enough.” Shame is understood as the fear of disconnection. Is there something about me, that if people know it or see it, that I won’t be worthy of connection?

What is worthiness?
When she divided people into those who really have a sense of worthiness, a strong sense of love and belonging, and those who struggle for it, the main difference was that the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging.

What they had in common was:
• They had a sense of courage. Courage is from Coeur/heart: “To tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.” They had the courage to be imperfect.
• They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first, and then to others, because as it turns out, we can’t practice compassion with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly.
• They had connection, as a result of authenticity. They were willing to let go of who they thought they /should/ be, in order to be who they /were/.
• They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They stopped controlling and predicting.

Vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.

What makes you feel vulnerable? Asking for help… among other things.

What does not work:
• Numbing: You cannot selectively numb emotion – you can’t target just the bad stuff. When you numb them, you also numb joy, gratitude, happiness.
• Creating false certainty: You cannot be certain about everything.
• Perfecting: We seek perfection. But no, you’re imperfect – but you are nonetheless worthy of love and belonging.

A way through:
- Let yourself be seen – deeply seen.
- Love with your whole heart – even though there is no guarantee
- Practice gratitude and joy – in those moments of terror when you’re wondering, can I love you this much, can I believe in this this passionately, can I be this fierce about this?
- Believe that you are enough. You are enough.