art

[sqwook]

I have some issues surrounding art.

When I was younger, art was a huge part of my life. It consumed my life, really. Theater, dance, singing, piano, poetry, drawing, painting... so much art, both visual and performance.

At some point, I guess I realized I wouldn't become a famous <type of artist>.  Since then, I definitely have a feeling that it's not "worth it" to do any of these things unless I'm going to be ... acknowledged, recognized, loved, known, admired, earning money, the Best.

This feels especially true for performance art, such as singing. It seems like there's no point to singing if there's not an audience. And I'll never be as good as _____.

Intellectually, I know that doing art even just for myself can be enjoyable and helpful and and and.  It doesn't feel that way, though; it feels useless.  It feels like how scrapbooking would likely feel to a "real" artist.

And there are so many half-formed dreams there that really aren't going to happen.  Here I am, in a truly wonderful life that does not include Broadway, for example.  So on top of everything else, it hurts the little girl in me to have to admit that yes, doors really are closed. 

And which one thing would I even focus on, anyway?

Comments

[rosabel-believe.livejournal.com]

The point of art is not to be acknowledged for it, although that's certainly nice. I really believe the point of doing art/being creative is to be good to your soul. If it touches other people, that's fantastic. If it touches only you, it's work well done.

Like you, when I was younger, everything in my life was about some form of creative expression. The emphasis on creative expression has dwindled since I've gotten older and had to be more "responsible" about being a grown up with bills to pay and a roof to keep over my head, but I still get creative and it's usually with stuff most people don't see, and I'm fine with that. I hope you continue to express yourself artistically, even if it's not going to earn you worldwide (or even local?) recognition, because that's not remotely what art is about (in my opinion).

*hugs*

[sqwook.livejournal.com]

Hi! Thanks for the thoughts - it's interesting that these weird thoughts I have about art got formed, and wondering how to turn it into something a little healthier / more helpful, which this post is part of - trying to get written down so I can think on it.

[sqwook.livejournal.com]

>Free time is for our souls

That's a good point to keep in mind!

[sqwook.livejournal.com]

Yes, writing this out is part of getting the dragons to tell me what's really going on.

I think because I *do* have a respect for "real" artists, I'm hyper-sensitive to being a dabbler. Whatever, though, I need to get over it, because it's not helpful. You can't become better at anything if you never start.