(no subject)

When I feel sad, my thinking gets distorted, and I know it’s distorted, but I can’t always figure it out, until I get more perspective later.

How can I get myself to the point where I can get perspective? I’m not sure… maybe change of scenery? /Actually/ talking about it, the substance of it, with someone? (Actual substance helps more than pained vague allusions, though even that probably beats paralysis. Keep the social media blocks on, and heed them.)

Other basics for when it hits:

• If I’m supposed to be sleeping, but instead I’m “thinking” about something, remember: it’s not “thinking”, it’s ruminating, and no matter what the thought is (because it’s nearly always some harmful distortion that I can’t pick apart because I’m half-asleep), it is not helpful, & it is not necessary to think through, and not necessary to remember in the morning, and it’s good & appropriate for me to be calm, and sleep. Count breaths.


• I have a worth, as much as anyone else.


• However bad I feel at that moment, it will pass. It feels like it never will. But it will.


• Am I hating who I am? Wishing I had never existed? Feeling worthless or doomed to failure/grief? That itself is the distortion. There is nothing to "figure out". I exist, and I have a worth, as does everyone, even including my flaws and mistakes, and things are not being ~ruined by me, that is the distortion talking. It's okay to let it go.

Haha, I never remember to actually read all my helpful lists when I need them. BUT OKAY, lol, it helps me to write it down, nonetheless.